newnew

in all honesty i am simply scared. that’s all.

choices

I was thinking on my drive home from work about life and the decisions we make. I came to the conclusion that everyone has a decision, a choice to make. There is no such thing as “Well, that’s life, you have no choice but to work two jobs because you have to support your family.” Of course, many people think you have to do that because you love your family, spouse, whoever. Even my mom says that but I firmly believe that she chose to work two jobs because she didn’t want my family to suffer. She chose to work 2 backbreaking underpaying jobs because she decided to be a good mother and knew that’s what she has to do for me and my brother. I chose to work 2 jobs although one was enough for my pocket change, but because that’s what I knew I had to do to help out my mom&brother. Obviously, I think about quitting one or quitting both all the time but my decision is to stick with it because I’m a brat /: haa

There are so many people out there who choose not to work another job or even a job because of their pride, laziness, handicap, whatever. There’s always a choice.

So cheers to those who constantly make good choices in life, no matter the circumstance!

love my momma <3

mighty to save

it’s been a while.

I recently engaged in a conversation about the difference between Christianity and Jehovah’s witness with a co-worker regarding the importance of the roles between Jesus and God. Long story short, he was saying Jesus is not God and only God should be worshiped. I have to admit, shamefully, that by the end of the conversation (which got cut very abruptly because of work) I was a bit confused and almost shaken. I kept trying to remind myself of in Whom I believe and all the things that have happened to me in my life. I felt embarrassed for not being confident in my beliefs and ultimately not being faithful to God. This conversation had me so confused that I tried to forget about the whole thing as I went on living the next couple of days praying that my co-worker was just as shook as I because I know Jesus is the answer though I could not say why. He even asked me what John 3:16 said and I hesitantly recited it, or whatever I remembered of it, and he tried to pin me there. My co-worker made valid points but forget the rest of that verse:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

He got everything but the “that whoever believes in him” part. I forgot it, too.

Anyways, so I get to church today and the pastor goes through this verse (what a coincidence! ha. not) and i felt like a heavy load was lifted from my shoulders and I felt stupid, like God just slapped me upside my head for not fully remembering one of the most crucial verses. Thanks, God!

A little off-track, I’m so grateful to have gone to school outside of everything I know and that is familiar to me. Had I not been to ACF, I don’t think I could have ever encountered God the way I have, or seen the things He’s shown me. I guess it’s part of my job to relay the message back home.

show me how to love like You

First of all, Happy Easter!

Haven’t updated in a while. Last night I went stargazing with the most random group of people and it was fabulous. I got to see two shooting stars without even having to ask Him (: It’s amazing the wonderful works God can do in people. I’ve been trying to ignore the things I knew he wanted me to do (I even skipped the last retreat of my college career. I suck.), but no matter how far I run, his will always gets done in the end. And I am completely humbled, in awe, and thankful to say the least. Jesus heals and I am so thankful.

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things unseen
show me how to love like You have loved me
break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause…

And even after a year or so, He continues to answer my prayers.
Enjoy the weather, friends (:

good morning

phone conversation first thing in the morning with my mom says it’s gonna be a great day. now to try starting the day off with Jesus. how much better would that beeee.

2 months left

graduation is quickly coming and i am excited and scared. i wonder what it’s going to be like living full time with my mom as a grown ass woman ha.

i just got back from cici’s with my 3 favorite guys. it’s pretty bittersweet, the whole leaving jmu and going our own ways. i hope we stay in touch (:

urbandictionary your name

Jen:

(4.) A person that is desperate for attention and who is an obvious fake. She thinks she is popular and thinks people believe her when they don’t. Especially when it’s evident that none of her so called college friends don’t spend any time with her during the summer or during school breaks. She doesn’t act like herself because she’s so desperate to be liked by the popular crowd. She will make statements for shock value. She is rude and shows it by letting you know that what you have to say is boring. She is rude and takes naps when you’re at her house. She is selfish and only wants to do things on her time and wants everything her way otherwise she’ll whine and throw a hissy fit. She’s also very immature. Makes her mother fight her battles for her even at the age of 21 years.

ex: Why didn’t you invite me to the Mall?!

I had told you Jen that I went with my mom. We wanted to spend time with each other.

You know I like that Mall! You should have invited me! I don’t care that you went with your damn mom! (hangs up phone)

hahaha, who put this up! got me on point! :p
anyways, if you’re bored, go ud your name. the first name i put was jennifer and then i just tried every version of my name haha ridic.

apathetic? on the contrary..

never had i imagined my life to be where it is right now. it’s really like something straight out of the movies.. well, pg-13 and nothing like ‘precious’ or ‘the playas club’ but probably more like a low-budgeted film that still frustrates you and makes you wanna throw things at the screen in the same way (i am so horrible with descriptions). still, like it or not, this is my life.

i’m not a very jealous person and can embrace the good fortunes with those who experience them. jealousy used to be a bad characteristic of mine when i was little (ie. i was jealous of my cute baby brother getting all the attention, and also jealous of other girls’ newer barbie dolls), but i quickly learned to let that kinda stuff go and be happy for others. still, i can’t help but wonder if my life will ever change for the better, or if i’m destined to live this kind of back-breaking life forever until i am awarded my spot and treasures in Heaven? sometimes i wonder if this is just the way it’s gonna be for me. sounds a bit dramatic, i know. there are thousands of people who are much worse off than i so i really should not complain, but never had i imagined that Jesus would put us through this. sometimes you just get used to this life until one day you really open your eyes and before you know it, it knocks the wind out of you.

yeah, it is getting harder to breathe around here.

nevertheless, i will cling on to prayer and my God for there is nothing stronger.

and i will take care of you.

ain’t it funny?

2 days ago i was so angry with God for the most trivial things: the train was taking way too long and i was wearing peep-toed heels and not much layers so i was freezing, the flyers lost, me and beefie were fighting, etc. i had asked Him to please let the flyers win as it was my first game, have a good time because me and beefie were back together again, and just let this freaking train arrive so we could go home! didn’t arrive for an hour. my poor feet.

but i realized how much of a brat i am. so many people have to go through that kinda weather in worse conditions everyday without being able to just get on a train to go home. on top of that, my mom’s been going through some hard times and i’m crying about being cold? i got mad that He didn’t answer my prayers..but the next day i find that He’s answered all of my mom’s and that makes me feel so much better and puts me in my place.

sorry, Jesus. and thank You.

God is definitely good ALL THE TIME.

well..

i was going to update..but then i started reading all of joash’s updates..and forgot what i wanted to say.

butttt… summer has been so very great! it’s sad to think that i only have one more month left at home. the only thing i’m looking forward to this fall is the window in my new room and urec.